When the sun comes out after the storm...

I have been always a very faithful person. 
I believe in God, there is no doubt about it. 
Well, at least that is what I thought....

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want ( Psalm 23)

Last year around this time in my life there were a lot of changes. I got a job contract, I´ve got a new city where to live, I´ve got a farewell party and I thought everything was going to be fine in my life. Stability, and securities where around the corner.
But then everything in my life started to fall appart. I was juggle-ling with every piece of my life and all of them were falling onto my head.


My work was interesting but i was not trained to do it and I was placeD in an area that was going trough a crisis, so the clients where not willing to invest. Even if I tried my best, even working for more than 12 hours per day sometimes, it was not enough.
I also was dating a guy, the first time in many years that I was in love again. But he decided to break my heart like I never expected him to do...He was one of the people I trusted the most here. I was always honest to him, but I never thought he was going to play with my feelings like he did.
By January, after 2 months together, I knew he was just not going to build anything with me.
I had to break up, but I had also to realize that this was not the only thing going wrong in my life.
My studies were not going well and my boss gave me a warning about being fired.
No citizenship to be able to stay, no job in the future, no income to pay my house costs, no boyfriend to rely on, far from my family and even my friends in Germany and finally failing my first test in 2 years of studies.

This was not very good sign from God.
I got pretty upset, but I did not wanted to give up my promise of always trusting him about any human thing happening...but the truth was quiet worse...I was starting to despair...and losing faith is losing hope...
I cannot say that I succeeded alone. In my worse moments he send me some angels dressed as humans, like Karine, Andreito, Andreita, David, Anca, Pauline, Darya, Rofi, Alvaro, Mama, Eileen, Petra, Seta, Stefano, Anja, Christian, Nicole, Anna, Joseph, Shorsch, Florcita, Valen, Zuzana, Reykia, Malvika, Sophie, Jelena and people from the churches Karine took me with...

I truly think I got countless people around to proof me wrong, in the worse times, when I was doubting about God presence in my life, he help me to believe in people around me, he showed to me that people is the one letting you be stronger in your faith, without people, we would have no faith in God.


I learned a lot this last 6 months, where I have really fallen into pieces because I was the worse version of myself and I even got hopeless lost in a maze of sadness....but people found me and brought me always to smile moments, praying moments, when I did not even wanted to hear about God or when he was really disappointing me by his ways of driving my life, at the same time someone was his voice in my ear saying: Dont give up....don´t distrust me...trust because I bring you this hands at this time...trust because you had never a moment where I did not give you this hands to hold you...trust me.


I don't know what the road brings ahead, but I know that could be harder or could be better. But people will never be out of my roads, because they are the living expression of God´s hands in my life.


I promise again that I will never stop believing in you, not because you are independent from humanity, because your humanity is the strongest resemblance of yourself. Even in the darkness of my own humanity, there where other humans being your voices and angels by my side, not to let me fall.


I learned a new lesson today, but this is just one little rock  on an endless road to heaven....and in this road God only expect us to try to smile even if the storm seems to be endless... He will give us an umbrella to go trough it.




Matthew 6: 26
"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"